He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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