Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
3pm strippers are depressing
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
