So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
