My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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