the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
