I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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