Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
