he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
