Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
