You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
