I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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