Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
