Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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