Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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