woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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