She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
