Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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