In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
