and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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