How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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