yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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