So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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