The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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