All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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