He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
