What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
