i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
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HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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