So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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