YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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