U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have already put on my inside pants.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
