I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
dude. I can hear the air.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
