Me. At least after what I've been through.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize