I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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