What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize