During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the raccoons are back...
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