I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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