My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize