I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
