I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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