My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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