Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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