Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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