I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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