In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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