You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
