I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
