i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You've changed since you got that strap on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
