Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
