in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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