in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
