Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
