Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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