I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
