I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
