she was so not down for the gang bang
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
