I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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