look no pants
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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