This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
