turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
