im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
