There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
